Shame On You, Hardees!

I'm pretty easy-going.
There's not too many things in this life that get my goat.

(Did I really say "get my goat" ? Sorry.)

However, my goat's been got.

Here's why:
I simply despise the new Hardee's commercial.
You know, the one about the Southwestern Jalapeno Burger...
The one where the blonde eats her Hardee's burger at the drive-in theater.

First off, why is an attractive young lady like that alone at the drive-in?

Obviously, she suffers from social or physical issues that aren't readily visible.

Apparently she has a difficult time securing a date, even though she drives a convertible,wears dresses, and has enough cleavage to smother a small elephant.

Secondly, no girl that looks like that is going to be caught dead chowing down on a half pound of ground beef , cheese, and  a carbo-stuffed bun.
Rather, ideally she would be crunching on some celery stalks, spooning up a yogurt parfait, or nibbling politely on an apple wedge.

Plus, that ridiculous burger was almost as big as her bleached blonde head! I can almost guarantee it's not nearly that size in "real life".

And...(here's where my goat is snatched away)- why on earth does she lie down to eat?
Have you ever in your burger-eating life seen someone recline horizontally while filling their stomach with a giant cow sandwich?
Never!

Another thing- I just don't think the girl in the car next to her would be quite so polite to her boyfriend as he gawks unashamedly, drools uncontrollably, and breaks at least one of the Commandments.

Instead of a nice gentle push of his chin toward the movie screen, I'm afraid I would have inserted an elbow into his ribs, stomped his toes till he screamed and resort to at least a  non-abusive slap to both cheeks.

Okay. You're right.
Maybe I'm just jealous.

But, you know, it doesn't help matters much when my husband comments every single time he sees that commercial.


"Boy, I wish I had one of those..." he says longingly.

After flashing him the extra-evil eagle eye, extending my fighting claws, and loosening up my pitching arm, he sheepishly adds, "but without the cheese."

One evening- just to be sure he was truly focused on the sandwich- I reenacted the whole scene from the family room sofa.
Polka-dot dress, push up bra, heels, and a Southwestern Jalapeno burger.

He laughed so hard I thought his Lazy Boy would flip over.

(Plus, I choked on one of the peppers and couldn't breathe for a full minute.)

Shame on you, Hardees!!! Shame, shame, double shame!
I believe you need to rethink your obviously male chauvinistic attitude toward  burger advertisements and your outright sexually suggestive television ads that give young children and stupid men the wrong ideas.

And give me back my goat!