I'm a little upset today.
Maybe it's just a case of feeling sorry for myself, hormones gone all Tasmanian Devil on me, or the generic coffee I drank yesterday.
But I can't help it.
Why didn't anyone tell me that it was Oreo's 100th birthday?
I mean, you think Mr. Nabisco himself would have sent me a personal invitation, placed me at the head table, and even asked me to toast the day with a celebratory twist of some double stuff.
I wasn't even consulted about this whole affair...
Me- the woman who spent more in her lifetime on Oreos than on manicures, hairstyles and shoes combined- was totally ignored on this cookie milestone!
Me- the lady that hoards the calorie laden treats in places that take a step ladder, a Grabber, or a total remodel of the linen closet to get to!
Me- the gal who was pretty certain she was pregnant with her third child because she ate an entire package of Oreos while watching Dynasty one night!
Me- the person that gave them the benefit of the doubt when they introduced organic, peanut butter, and green tea Oreos!
(Epic fail. I could have told them not to bother.)
Do they not realize that one single cookie may have brought sunshine to my life for an entire day?
Do they not see how addicting, demoralizing and infatuating their cookies are?
Do they not care that I chose Oreos over underarm deodorant when my budget was tight?
Do they not take responsibility for all those jeans in the closet that no longer fit me?
Do they really want to start cheering for the Keebler side?
Can they even afford to lose me as a customer and loyal friend?
I think not.
I'll go on as though this didn't really happen.
It's not the end of the world...
Hey....I just remembered I have a stash of Oreos behind the VCR.
And cold milk.