Wednesday, March 7, 2012

It's An Oreo Party and I'll Cry If I Want To

I'm a little upset today.

Maybe it's just a case of feeling sorry for myself, hormones gone all Tasmanian Devil on me, or the generic coffee I drank yesterday.

But I can't help it.
I'm angry.

Why didn't anyone tell me that it was Oreo's 100th birthday?
And why the heck wasn't I invited to the party?

I mean, you think Mr. Nabisco himself would have sent me a personal invitation, placed me at the head table, and even asked me to toast the day with a celebratory twist of some double stuff.

But, no.

I wasn't even consulted about this whole affair...

Me- the woman who spent more in her lifetime on Oreos than on manicures, hairstyles and shoes combined- was totally ignored on this cookie milestone!

Me- the lady that hoards the calorie laden treats in places that take a step ladder, a Grabber, or a total remodel of the linen closet to get to!

Me- the gal who was pretty certain she was pregnant with her third child because she ate an entire package of Oreos while watching Dynasty one night!

Me- the person that gave them the benefit of the doubt when they introduced organic, peanut butter, and green tea Oreos!
(Epic fail. I could have told them not to bother.)

Do they not realize that one single cookie may have brought sunshine to my life for an entire day?

Do they not see how addicting, demoralizing and infatuating their cookies are?

Do they not care that I chose Oreos over underarm deodorant when my budget was tight?

Do they not take responsibility for all those jeans in the closet that no longer fit me?

Do they really want to start cheering for the Keebler side?

Can they even afford to lose me as a customer and loyal friend?

I think not.

That's fine.
I'll go on as though this didn't really happen.
It's not the end of the world...

Hey....I just remembered I have a stash of Oreos behind the VCR.
And cold milk.

Mmmmmm...Life is still good.

8 comments:

  1. Very funny! .....hey wait a minute...they didn't invite me either!!!!! maybe the invite was lost in the mail...yep, thats why....sniff sniff :0(
    Blessings, Joanne

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  2. Oreo has to be one of my favorite store bought cookies....that's why I NEVER buy them! If I had a bag I would be loading up on cold milk and cookies every time I went to the kitchen! I would have eaten all my calories (for a day) in one sit down! They are delicious and so tempting! Happy Birthday Oreo, but stay away from MY house!

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  3. You’re so cute. I celebrated with a mint- oreo blizzard from DQ MMMMMM ;)

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  4. Dear Sweet SIL -
    I am sorry to break this sad news to you, but Hostess the maker of Twinkees and Chocolate cup cakes has filed BANKRUPTCY. May want to stock up on these yummy treats as they may not have the chance to turn 100..

    I think you can buy them by the pallet at COSTCO ;-)

    Have a sweet day......Karla

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  5. o no , nobody told me it was oreo day.......... love to take them apart and eat the center, then dip each piece in milk,,,,,, yum... too bad you werent invited to the party, grrrrrrrrrrrrrr , love the part about your buying oreos instead of deodorant hahahahahah your a nut, but then again i love nutty people..................... barb

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  6. You wuz wronged, RAE, plain and simple!

    Someone owes you an apology... and a complimentary package of Oreos.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  7. As long as you're not storing the milk back there too! That might be a problem!

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