Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Help Helmets

It's days like today when I wished that women wore helmets.
How much easier would it make getting ready in the morning or preparing for a special event! 
 Just think- no rushing to the hairdresser for an expensive cut and style.
 No spending hours in front of the mirror with flat irons, sprays, gels, lotions and a great,
 big ,giant "I am so ugly!" attitude.
No more worrying about dark roots, early gray, or unattractive flips, flops and choppy layers.

Of course, in the real world, even a hair helmet would be based on a persons tastes.
I doubt mine would consist of any of the primary colors. It would not contain any sort of bling. And I would want to keep it as inexpensive as possible.
Yet, even with hair helmets, there would be an unspoken fashion competition to see who has the most beautiful, fantastic or unusual head covering.

A hair helmet would be ideal on a day like this. It's cold and windy and I really don't have time to shower and change clothes and do my hair ...just to run to town for a can of coffee or movie rental.
Yes, a hair helmet would definitely make life easier...

But I suppose if we are all going to get hair helmets, we might as well make that jump from jeans, dresses and slacks into some sort of uniform. A miracle suit of sorts that fails to magnify thunder thighs, thick ankles and rollypolly middles. A wonder armor that hides your true dumpiness from the world and gives the appearance of a shapely and sophisticated woman. 
I could go for that. No more junky closets full of "I have nothing to wear!". No more out of control credit card purchases for clothing that's obviously made for someone thinner, younger, and richer.

Okay, then. Might as well add shoes to the uniform- just so there's no prejudice when judging the helmet headed, miracle suited woman on the street. Gotta make a generic form of tennis shoes, boots and sandals for the changing seasons- with little embellishment.

Oh, gosh, how I wish I had my hair helmet today! I gotta go run errands. And believe me- it ain't gonna be pretty!


  1. Well they do make wigs....isn't that a hair helmet?

    1. I thought of that...but wigs still need to be styled. And with my luck it would look like the head of a Barbie doll that spent the last twenty years in a cardboard box in the basement


  2. have seen my hairdo lately haven't you!!! Since moving to this town 2 and 1/2 years ago I have suffered thru 10 terrible hair right after the other. "Please don't cut my crown to short..I have a cowlick and it will stand up straight." Oh, she must be deaf. "Please don't cut my bangs to short...I hate that." Oh, she's deaf too. "You cut my hair to short last time." She is deaf too! "I do not want the side of my scalp showing from the sides of my hair being cut to close." They must all be related! I finally gave up and let my hair grow but needed my bangs trimmed. That is all I wanted!. As she trimmed my bangs I looked in the mirror...holding back a scream..."Please don't cut my bangs that far back on my head!!!" She had cut the hair on the crown of my head to about 2 inches...the lenght of the hair on the top of my hair was about 10 inches!! She calmly said.."Oh, I won't". It took all I had to not climb out of that chair, grab her scissors and chop off her hair!! I was in tears the entire trip home. So going to a hair dresser here is equal to going to a dentist who does not use novicain! I will gladly wear the Hair Helmet with you!!!
    Hugs, Gail