Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Tongues Are A Waggin'

I live in a little community where the most exciting thing to happen in awhile is having our potholes filled with asphalt. We have a post office, a bank, a gas station and a grocery store. A school, some churches, and lots of corn fields.

But right down the road in the neighboring town is something that recently set gossipy tongues on fire.

They built a strip club.

Now, this isn't just a little hole in the wall.
It's not a saloon wedged in between the antiques barn and the condemned video store.
It's not the old fix-it shop converted into a theater.

It's a giant pink and purple pole barn that advertises GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS!
(And more).
At night, three neon X's light up the rooftop.
It's gaudy, tasteless and really has no business in this little town.

But honestly, I pass the place nearly every day and rarely give it a thought. As long as the dancers, patrons and whatever else goes on there stays inside, then let them be.

(I do believe in Karma, though, if you know what I mean....)

This morning as I was taking my husband to work, and we were approaching the club, his head suddenly jerked to stare out the window.

"Looky there..." he sighed. "Oh, myyyyyyyy goodness..."

I jumped into Alert Mode and strained to see if some half-clothed floozy had stepped from the pink party lights into the soybean-dusty air.
I half expected to see a blow-up doll of carnival proportions flying above the interstate.

But no.

My dear husband was breaking his neck to see four John Deere tractors with bush hogs lined up by the roadway.

Whew! Close call! He sure was lucky!
Because my wrist slapper was feeling particularly well-oiled this morning and my elbows were nice and sharp for rib punching.

Then he said it was a sure sign of growing old when you get excited about tractors instead of tramps skanks lovely dancing ladies.

And we laughed about it.

Places like this strip club come and go.
And most likely this one will go soon.

After some research, I found out it's a $15 cover charge, you have to bring your own booze, and customers rated the dancers a 2 on a 10 point scale.

A 2.

No wonder those tractors looked so sexy!


  1. Hilarious!!! Proud of my brother...... K

  2. My old guy would probably be more interested in the tractors and bush hogs too.

  3. u dont live near that do you, how come you go by there on way to work? I used to live very near it, my dear dear friend lives close to it and hates what it stands for and the audacity of the people who go there, it is a sin, no two ways about it,,,,,, glad your hubby loves john deers. lol

  4. I go by there at about 4 in the morning on my way to work. Now, the sign says open 24/7, but it isn't. Most mornings the lights are shut off. But occasionally on a Saturday or Sunday morning there will be a car or two still there; sometimes a semi. I honestly don't see how they stay in business. I don't think most people who live in the community give it much thought anymore, but when I tell someone where I am from, invariably the first words out of their mouth is "Ever been to the strip club?" And the answer is no. I have a neon green car that I cannot hide. I am intrigued by the claim of "toys" on the side of the building, but I do my adult shopping several counties south where they don't know me.