I'm a pretty brave gal.
I sleep without a nightlight, set mouse traps all by myself, and tear the warning tags off of new pillows.
There are only a few things in life that really scare me: serial killers, overdrafts, roller coasters, and....(oh, I hate to even say it)- diets.
But it is that time of year to face my fears. The word "diet" is buzzing around like bumble bees on steroids... and it's difficult to avoid. WalMart taunts us with 100 calorie snacks, the local gym offers miracle bodies (for a price), and Jennifer Hudson makes it all seem as easy as pie.
Pie? mmmmmmmm
Sorry.
Time to get serious.
I know I need professional help. If some crazy diet therapist could get inside my head, maybe they'd figure out why I can't face reality.
But I've eventually got to admit- I'm overweight.
I have a jelly belly.
I have un-loved love handles.
My jowls look like earrings-
and I can set a cup of coffee on my "booty".
I think I fear diets the most, because once you announce you are starting one, you have an instant audience.
People who never took a second glance at me while I piled Little Debbie snack cakes in my grocery cart - or even said hello when they passed me in my jogging pants and "man shirt" on my way into the bank- are now sitting attentively on the sidelines just waiting for me to fail.
There's this giant spotlight as big as meteor- and I'm right smack dab in the middle.
All eyes are on my thighs.
Sheesh!
By why do I fail in the first place?
Because I love chocolate.
And cheese.
And pizza.
And salami.
And cookies.
And a whole other assortment of yumminess that has no business in a real diet.
And because- as my Freshman math teacher can attest to - I can't count!
Does anyone really expect me to keep track of points and calories and portions- if I can't figure out why x=y (or whatever that law of algebra is)? Really?
Don't get me wrong- I love veggies! But I love them with cheddar cheese sauce, cream dip and ranch dressing.
Rats!
This is gonna be harder than I thought...
Yet, dear readers, I've made a resolution to start my diet. To face my fears. To make important and healthy new decisions for the new year.
And all you skinny, anorexic, six-pack toting "watchers" and just cheer me on to the finish line!
Yay!
(But truthfully- I'd rather get ambushed by the Walking Dead and feasted upon for three days- than start another diet...)
Onward! That's the only direction to go now...
you can do it Rae......... Im hoping Paul will go on one for his health..... he is overweight really bad.
ReplyDeleteRae, thanks for stopping by Diary of a Square Toothed girl! I'm so glad I found you again! Don't think of it as a "diet" think of it as a lifestyle change--I'll be joining you. Forty nearly here, and I don't want to be "fat and forty!" ;)
ReplyDeleteWE CAN DO IT!!! :) Happy New Year!
I too, have started yet another diet journey. I despearetly want this to be my last one, one that will keep me slim and healthy till I am ready to float up to Heaven. I found this one in the Prevention Magazine and thought it looked do able. But after studying it for awhile I realized that it was a good one but that I really did need help. I figured out that I have been on several diets but they never last. I get bored and loose interest. Then I wondered what would happen if I had a trainer to work with me? Some one to encourage me, to keep me on track and to make sure I am doing the moves correctly so I am not wasting my time. All of my weight loss struggles have been done all by myself. Never anyone to encourage me or keep me motivated. So this time I may have found the answer to my lack of motivation....a trainer. and I found the perfect one...my husband! Who could be better??? He knows how badly I want this and he too will benefit from a slim healthy body walking around his house all the time!! (You can read between the lines can't you!) So we drive over to the park just 4 days a week and we go thru the routine. After the workout I get another 20 minutes of a great walk as we let the dogs run thru the park as we walk after them. My husband, as a trainer, is a cross between Bob and Jillian on the Biggest Losser!! But we probably laugh way more than we should when he is trying to make me work harder! I just started it this week so I will let you know if I make any progress with this new diet. I shouldn't call it a diet...they never talk about dieting, how you eat, what you eat, just about the workout. Time will tell. Happy New Year my friend and best of luck on your new journey too!
ReplyDeleteWarm hugs to you, Gail
I am on that same journey with you. You are not alone. I don't care who crosses the finish line first...only that we BOTH cross it! I am here for you and there will be days when I need your motivation! Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteOops, I just left a snide comment on your last blog. Or maybe the one before that. Anyhoo, finally found you. Hi.
ReplyDelete