Hello, You Two!

Dear Two People Who Read My Blog,

Kinda sucks when you pour your heart out and your audience leaves the room.
Or worse yet, doesn't even show up for your party.
I'm feeling that way today...
Maybe it's the fact that I haven't taken the time to reciprocate by visiting you all. Don't blame you, really.

 Sorry.

I'm in this funky limbo lately.
Can't shake it.
Feel like I need to do something creative, but nothing comes out.
I call it Creative Constipation.

And, hey- it hurts!

So, I think I'll go right back where I was a few months ago.
AWOL.

 But you two really won't mind, will you?

So...see you when I see you!
Much love to you both!

Losing Time

Clouds mask the August sky this morning as
sprinkles dot the sidewalk in dark gray blotches...

Fat crows waddle near the roadside for corn left
from last weeks harvest...

There is no breeze.
No perfumed air.

Only the sound and smell and feeling
of August dying.

The month curls up like a dead flower-
already empty of color and energy,
ready to drop off the calendar
like powdered ash.

I don't attempt to save it.

How could I?
I lived its days and they were mostly sweet.

But some memories are like a burden
that cripples your future.
You have to keep walking down that big road
till you reach the end.

And who knows when that will be?

September will be fresh at first.
New and full and promising.
It will bring vibrant colors and intoxicating smells
and skies so blue they take your breath away.

But, it too, shall melt away.
Wrinkle, dissolve,

wither beneath the weight of October.

How can we find happiness in something so brief?

...And yet, we do.

Will Never Do List

There are some things in life that I assume I will never do. Bungee jump, scuba dive, break dance....you, know- those kinds of things. But recently I've had to make a revision and cross one particular item from that Will Never Do list.

Weight lifting.

Yes, I'm as surprised and as flabbergasted as you are. (Especially if you've seen my doughy cheeks, extra-padded butt, Oprah arm wings and thunder thighs.)

Until yesterday, the most weight I've ever lifted is the vacuum cleaner over the dog, a half keg of beer and a five gallon bucket of rotten tomatoes.
But, I'm trying to change.
Change hurts.
In this case, it hurts the body big time.

I'm actually excited, though. I hope to see a major weight loss and noticeable toning.( And the melting away of this huge python on my waistline!)

My husband and I joined the gym 6 weeks ago and have been hitting the tread mill pretty steady, but the free consult with a trainer suggested we start doing the weight training at least three days a week.

Which probably means I will be passed out on the couch the days in between. Hurting.
Cursing.
Drinking yucky protein drinks.

Dreaming of chocolate...

I do have pictures. Before.

Now, I'm just gonna have to really, really work hard to get a great After photo.

Another thing I had on my Will Never Do list is pulling out all the windows, painting them and cleaning them and shining them all up before fall.

You know what?
That is staying on the list!

Staying Put

I think this is the first time in months that I've had a chance to relax. I've been so busy with weddings and home remodeling and gardening and such- that my mind has been in a constant whirlwind.
This morning I grabbed a cup of coffee, opened the back door to let the cool air in, and sat down to my blog. I think I'm just going to keep it the way it is. I may change the colors once in awhile, but I've been thinking that it's not what it looks like that matters- it's what it says. Hopefully I'll be able to hop back on the horse and enjoy this journey again. Bear with me as I learn to type with two fingers again! Writing a blog post is a heck of a lot different than clicking LIKE on Facebook or pressing REPIN on Pinterest.
Another reason why I've returned to this comfy chair in the early morning is because I think (cross my fingers) that my internet service has improved. I will attempt to post pictures today of what I've been doing for the past few months. And soon I'll be visiting my favorite blogs again. I've missed the laughter, the eye candy, the reflections of your lives- and the love. I've really missed the love....
In May, my oldest daughter got married:

It was a beautiful occasion!

Then, we started remodeling our house:

BEFORE

DURING

AFTER

Then, we continued with the bathroom:

DURING

AFTER

And into the garage:

BEFORE

AFTER

Then it wouldn't be complete without a laundry room makeover, would it?

But, luckily all work and no play makes one insane. So I had a great summer in between the stress!

Virgin Islands

St.John VI

Sailing on the ocean

Rafting the Current River, MO

Gardening

Cabin

Cabin life

Looking back, despite all the hard work, I have been blessed. Truly.

And now, as I take the last sip of my coffee, I suddenly feel like this blog is my home again. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Closing The Door

If you follow this blog at all, you know that lately my posts have been pretty much nonexistent. A busy summer and a huge lack of enthusiasm for writing has caused me to forsake my blogging life. But, that's "Just The Way It Is".

However, as the summer winds down, I yearn for the pouring out of my heart again. I want to dance with words again. I want my soul to sing. I feel the need to put time's passing into order...

I'm working on a new format and title and I hope you will bear with me as I once again change things up. I always was one to move the furniture around every few months out of boredom and exploration. Same goes for my blog.

I will post the new blog address here when it comes to fruition. Miss all you good people. I definitely will be back in a few weeks- or a month- sometime soon, anyway.

Enjoy these days. They are precious.

Checking In...

I finally finished the kitchen remodel. But it has spread into the laundry room,  jumped to the old bathroom, and invaded every fingerprinted wall in need of fresh paint. Plus, before that is even finished, my husband decided the garage was next on the fix-it-up-till-it-hurts list and we worked from 8am till 6pm in 104 degree heat yesterday. Face it, folks. I'm too pooped to to blog!
But I feel bad about forsaking my writing- (and all of you). I do this every year, I think. Reach a point where I'm too busy with yard work and gardening and other things to even pause here to say hello.
Come autumn, I'll be writing steady again. I hope. I do have a new grand baby due in November. Looking forward to that.
And I have a fantastic family vacation in the works soon, also! Hopefully that trip will inspire me.
In fact, I may redesign this whole blog...kinda tired of it already. But- I'll let you know if I move.
For now, I'm stuck here with paint in my hair, garden dirt under my fingernails and a bank account that is getting drained by DIY projects.
If my internet didn't SUCK BIG TIME, I would post Before and After pics...But, no.
Hope you all had a great 4th. See you all soon, I hope!

I Shall Seek

My world is like a lighthouse.

Every morning I awake and look outside-
seeing an ocean of life that merely
touches the edges of my boundaries-
I, always fearful of wandering too far
and becoming lost.
Worried that I cannot swim as well as others...
Not knowing if there is anything beyond the rim of the sunset.

I watch from the window with binoculars,
sending out a beacon -
in hopes that Fate and Adventure will someday find me.


My world is like a forest.

I grow comfortable with the trees.
They hide the imperfections.
They camouflage my sadness and insecurities-
and they cushion me from the unknown.
Sometimes I wonder if I started walking
if I would find the sunshine-
or die from a lack of living in the shadows.

My world is like a mountain.

And I've never climbed it.

Content to remain at the bottom, looking up.
Sometimes I dream about the other side -
and imagine it as a wonderland
where I can run and fly
and bathe in joy.

My world is like a desert.

And it leaves me thirsty.
Yet, I always convince myself I don't need to drink-
that what I have
and what I do
is all that is expected of me.

But your love has made me want to open my eyes,
unfurl my wings,
break down the barriers of fear
and push through to something called living.

I'm stepping out-
swimming in that ocean,
exploring the forest,
climbing that mountain,
and crossing that desert.

Fate and Adventure is calling me
and this time-
I will go to them.